Dangerous Beauty

Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
    bind them around your neck,
    write them on the tablet of your heart.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;

Proverbs 3:3,5 NIV

There is no such thing as committing adultery with the right woman, at the right time, and in the right way, for it is simply wrong.

Aristotle

He who commits adultery lacks sense;
    he who does it destroys himself.

Proverbs 6:32

Recently, I took a trip with friends to enjoy the northern coast of California. We were totally enthralled with the discovery of a beautiful field of lupine at the edge of a prairie high above the coastline.  We bounded joyfully into the grassy areas, seeking perfect pictures of bright flowers against the vivid green spring backdrop, not unlike my pup who loves to run in the grass alongside the path in my neighborhood.  Heedless of any danger, we are drawn into dangerous beauty. 

Even in a good marriage, what seems like an innocent appreciation of a person who is not our spouse, can begin the steps to infidelity.  Particularly in those years from early thirties to late fifties.  In the raising family years, couples can grow apart as the busyness of that season can steal away meaningful time for couples. If someone outside the marriage takes the time to notice or listen or compliment or give special attention…the danger begins. 

The grasses that my friends and I and my dog are so attracted to in spring are often inhabited by the tiniest creature that is quite dangerous.  When we left the beautiful prairies, one of my friends found a tick on herself.  Ughh! If not immediately noticed and removed, these little creatures imbed in skin to feed on the blood of their unsuspecting host. If the ticks imbed, within an hour or two, the dangerous diseases that they carry are transmitted to their host. If you have had a tick imbed in you, it’s wise to be treated with antibiotics to ensure that you don’t end up with a long term debilitating disease.   Of course, the best defense is precaution; wearing the right clothing, using a deet based repellent, and thoroughly checking yourself after visiting tick habitat (which may be right out your back door!).

In an analogy for marriage, the “preventative”, the best way to stay faithful is to make time for each other as a couple, listen to each other, forgive each other, talk to each other, and always treat love as a verb rather than a noun… In other words, be loving. Should you find yourself attracted to another, that’s your danger moment.  Don’t let the beauty of the moment (like our flowers) draw you into danger of putting your marriage at risk (like tick infested grass).  Similar as in the case of potential tick exposure, if someone other than your spouse is becoming an emotional attachment, life blood is being sucked out of your marriage; check your emotions and remove yourself from temptation.  In the case of an extended affair, counseling is the equivalent of antibiotics for a tick imbedding.  Depending on the circumstances, the health of the marriage may be salvageable, but will require love and time to cure it. 

So as you go out into the wild world of outdoors AND life, be careful out there. Watch out for dangerous beauty!