Crying out or silent suffering…

Help each other with your troubles. When you do this, you truly obey the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:2 ICB

 What is the essence of life? To serve others and to do good.

Aristotle

In early February, a friend and I were visiting the largest elephant seal rookery on the west coast. We were there during calving season as well as an uncommon extremely high tide.  What sounded like interesting seal chaos to my friend and I was actually the sound of hundreds of distressed mama seals who were desperately seeking to keep their babies safe on the beach, though the unusually enormous waves threatened to sweep the newborns out to the rocky cove and open sea.  What was a beautiful sunny day of exploration for my friend and I was a tough time for those unique animals.

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It made me think how sometimes we can unconsciously minimize or be unaware of what others are going through, the dangers or suffering that surround them at any given moment. In fact, I think back to a friend growing up.  My high school friends and I rarely visited her home; she lived only with her Dad and sisters.  She was a lovely but private person who kept a lot of walls intact around herself. Some years later, she and I met at a gathering.  When I asked how her father was, she shocked me with her reply that she was thankful that he was dead.  You see, I never knew that her mother left because the father was abusive. My friend and her sisters were abused growing up, and I never knew.  Safe in my traditional family life, it would never have occurred to me that my friend was suffering and in danger in her own home. 

Why share these stories?  Because we need to be aware that all is not always as it appears to be in our rather limited perspective.  Sometimes, we need to look past the obvious and beyond ourselves. Listen more. Talk less. Assume nothing.  If someone is very quiet, maybe there is a reason and maybe they need to talk. Perhaps we can make a difference in the circumstances of their lives or maybe not, but we can at least offer emotional and spiritual support if we are aware of situations…a safe space of love. Oh, how I wish that I had been there for my friend.  Thankfully, she navigated through her tough childhood to the point that she became happily married with children and had a successful career, but doesn’t always turn out that way.

Mama seals are quite vocal about their distress, but people are often more discreet about their dangers or pain. Loved ones can mask a lot of suffering whether for their own limited protection or out of fear for themselves or others. Try to listen not only with your ears, but with your heart.