Control and Trust
You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.
Marcus Aurelius
Make the best use of what's in your power and take the rest as it happens
Epictetus
Recently, my brother and his wife visited me. They arrived in their self-driving car with accounts of its successful navigation of Los Angelos traffic as well as a rather obscure mountain pass road. Pretty amazing! Though I know that the percentage of self-driving car accidents are exceedingly low per the amount of self-driving cars on the road and that most accidents are human caused, it was still a challenge for me to get into the car and let it drive us around the city. They had already had many miles and hours of driving time to see the car perform well, allowing them to gain trust and confidence in the car. I only had “head knowledge” of the facts and statistics surrounding the car, which is completely different than experience. It’s like the first time that I rappelled down a rock cliff; I understood that the rope and knots could hold me, but to actually trust it as I stepped backward over the ledge was difficult.
Trust and control are difficult issues which are intrinsically tied together. We all have this subconscious idea that we can control almost everything around us…circumstances, people, and more. Yet the truth is that we are limited human beings who can control only a small amount of both our world and the bigger world. One might be a good driver, but another driver can cause us to be involved in a motor vehicle accident. One might have a sturdy house, but that doesn’t mean flood or fire can’t destroy it. One might live in a health-conscious way, but unexpected disease can still cause health issues. Yes, there are many things beyond our control.
What can we control? I can control my responses to people and to events. I can choose to be positive in the face of negativity by showing kindness when it isn’t warranted, even as God has shown compassion to undeserving me. I can work hard towards goals, even knowing that the future is never guaranteed. I can care for my family, friends, pets, home, and all the other gifts that God has so generously bestowed upon me. I can choose to quietly endure through hard times rather than complaining. So much more too…
For the things that I can’t control, I can try very hard not to worry or be anxious…because there is no value in worry: it’s an emotion that is fairly pointless. When we worry about something that may or may not happen, it steals our present joy without changing the outcome at all. So I talk to God about my concerns, then I have to let go worry so that I can experience joy in the positives in my present life.
