Careful responses…
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My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
James 1:19 NIV
Let there be a door to thy mouth, that it may be shut when need arises, and let it be carefully barred, that none may arouse thy voice to anger, and thou pay back abuse with abuse.
Saint Ambrose
It made me sad when a nearby neighbor sent her partner to my front door to see if I had taken their snow shovel from their front porch, as in stolen it. While I’ve only had a handful of conversations with that neighbor over the years as she is not someone who stops to chat much, I would have thought that she would know me well enough to know that I would never steal anything, nor borrow without asking. In the woman’s defense, another neighbor had told her that they saw a person in the yard who had a few similar physical characteristics to me. Also, my neighbor has a newborn baby so she’s tired and probably not processing things as clearly as normally. Still, it made me quite sad that someone who knows me even a little could think that of me.
If this had happened fifteen or twenty years ago, I would have probably been highly incensed at an unknown neighborhood man coming to my door with an inquiry which felt much more like an accusation. Now, though, I would like to think that I try harder to be an example of Jesus love and compassion to all my neighbors, friends, and family. So instead of getting angry, I offered to look at my security camera to see if I could see anyone in their yard on my feed (though a little far away). I also offered to loan my snow shovel, though the young man said that he would buy one. I told him that, if the stores were all sold out, he was welcome to slip into my backyard to borrow my snow shovel from my shed. I was trying very hard to extend grace, trust, and compassion.
We spent a few minutes chatting and actually getting to know each other a little which is when I found out that they have some challenges dovetailing with the joy of new baby. Indeed, I will be praying for this young family as they navigate some hard life trials. When they are outside and don’t appear to be in a rush, I’ll try to make a point of stopping by to say hello, ask how they are doing, and ask about the babe.
Though my feelings are still feeling a little bruised, I see the bigger picture of God’s hand in this. Because my neighbor has been so reserved over the years, I now know a little bit more about her and her family’s life, both joys and challenges. Now, I have a better idea of how to pray for this neighborhood family, and I can actively look for opportunities to show God’s love to them in small ways. In hindsight, it’s also personally encouraging to know that God has worked on me over the years so that I don’t respond hastily or negatively in tough conversations. Wish I could say that is always true, but I’m still a work in progress!